How to Handle Being Targeted

Are You Often the Targeted Player in Competetive Rec Play?

Let it Fuel you to Greatness.

Juli Schafer

Have you ever been or felt like the “weaker” player on the court? Your partner gets everything back and has a wicked punch volley, so your opponents feel like they have a better chance of winning points if they send every ball to you. So suddenly you are getting the majority of the hard, fast drives and you feel like a punching bag. If you feel like this, you are NOT alone.

At some point, one player of almost every team has or will experience being targeted at one point or another.

In competitive pickleball, it’s part of the package, and if you are playing up to get better, then you need to settle in and get comfortable here for while.

Being the Target

I have spent the lion's share of my competitive pickleball journey as "the target." See, when you walk onto a court in a competitive setting, the other team has about a minute to size you up and label you and your partner. I am 5’4” with a strong-curvy-not-skinny build, a knee brace, and a slight “swagger” after 5 games because of a bone spur in my heel. I have been called the fat one, the other one, and the older lady.

I have some good shots in my arsenal and I work hard, but I am not as skilled or as quick as my doubles partner. She is 5’ 1”, with a thin frame and athletic build. She is a great player, a coach, she reads the court quickly and implements strategy, and she has a put away that will make you duck and cover.

So guess what? When we play together, I am often isolated and tend to get a lot of balls sent my way. As pickelball becomes more popular and more competetive, even in rec play targeting has become the norm. I spend a lot of court time playing with people who are more skilled than me, and these gals come to win. I often find myself as the object of players who target. It is what it is.

Now, I have choices. I can choose to stay where I am and successfully return maybe half of the hits. I can choose to change something to level up and return more of them, or I can choose get out of the arena.

For a while, I thought about getting out. I wrote myself off, thinking I couldn’t level up fast enough, or ever. I completely overlooked all the time I had put in and all the work I had done. Frustration is real in this game and no one is harder on ourselves than we are.

But I LOVE this game, all the parts of it. And I have decided I don't want to stay where I am, so that leaves the third option: change something. Change, lovelies, is where the magic happens. 

Here is where the mindset work come in.

First, I had to accept that targeting happens-even in rec play. It's a competetive game-we come to win. This game is a chess match. You are trying to hit the shot that cannot come back. You are looking for ways to achieve that.

Next, I had to accept that I am often the target because a lot of the people I play with are hella good. I also had to accept that my play on the court does NOT DEFINE MY SELF-WORTH and that my confidence is not conditional on how I play. (Read that again.)

Acceptance takes work. To get there, you have to go through the Five Stages of Grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and finally, Acceptance.

The stages look like this:

Denial: Hey wait a second. What’s happening? I’m not the weaker player here. Am I?

Anger: This is ridiculous. Every shot? Do they not have the guts to send it to my partner? Don’t they want better practice?

Bargaining: Maybe if I target back they won’t do it. Or if I am nicer to them off the court they won’t target me on the court.

Depression: Ugh. What am I doing here? I’ll never get better at this.

Acceptance: Accept that you are the lesser skilled partner on this team.

Be grateful for the hits, the practice, and that the higher skilled players are playing with you.

Now it's time to keep working and keep grinding. Get back to drilling, hitting against the wall, taking clinics and lessons. 

The biggest change, however, will come from your mindset work. This will be your secret weapon.

Change Your Mindset and Reframe Your Thinking.

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.”  

                                                                                                -Henry Ford

It’s easy to let being the target affect you negatively. Your mental dark voice marches into your head uninvited (I call her mAlice) and starts up with her rotten word salad. “You’re not good enough to be here. You’re the weaker player. Every freaking ball? Really? Are they that afraid to hit to my partner? This is not for me. I don’t belong here.” 

When you find yourself as a frequent target, you may start to believe that you are not good enough and allow this mindset to wreak havoc with your confidence and your play.

Or, you can change your perspective and turn it into a good thing.

How? Reframe your thinking. If you are the “weakest” member of your team, the other team is hitting most of the balls to you. This means that you are hitting more shots per rally/per game than when your team is more even.  I much prefer to be in that situation than when I may be the stronger player on the team and might only hit one shot for every 3-4 my partner is hitting. I get caught not ready and end up blowing it. Embrace being the weaker player and be excited to get all the balls. Set your intention to expect EVERY shot to come to you and be ready and excited for them.

The more you get the ball, the more practice you get for your shots. Be Ready, Be Excited, Be grateful. 

Set Different Goals

If you want to get better, you have to be the weakest link at some point. Focus on the fact that those games are helping you accomplish that goal. Use the game to learn instead of berating yourself. Take a deep breath, push those negative thoughts away, and get to work.

Winning really isn’t everything….if you are in a situation where the opponents are far stronger players, set different goals, like I’m going to work on court positioning and move with my partner so there’s no gap, or I’m going to try to reset the banger shots to slow things down, or I’m going to try to hit to the opponent’s backhand, hip, foot.

Side Note: When I am playing with two different skill levels in rec play, I am almost always hitting to the higher skilled player. I don’t want the easy shot. I want the hard one. The one that will make me get better.

Push the Devil off your Shoulder

I still hear mAlice almost every time I play. She bosses herself right in, uninvited, saying no-good stuff that you’d never utter to a partner, or even to someone you don’t like playing with. So why am I letting her/me talk to me like that when I should be my number one fan? 

Familiar? Kick her mean girl self out and replace her with positive BFF thoughts.

“I am playing up-woohoo this will be awesome practice.”

“I will get more touches here, another opportunity to work on my shots. I want every ball.”

“I’ve worked hard – I'll practice what I know. (Keep the ball low, hit where the opponent is not, slow the game down with resets, have a consistent deep serve and deep return, etc.)

Use the Targeting to Fuel You to Greatness.

Work harder. Don't give up. Drill when you can and make the wall your bestie when no one is available.

Do you know how diamonds are made? Under extreme pressure. The results are magnificent, but the process is intense. Being pressed will make you crumble or shine. 

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, darlings. You cannot shame your way to improving. Let the targeting be the gasoline on your fire to greatness.